Dating/Courtship: Preparing for Marriage – Part 4

 

Counsel for a Christian man or woman who is dating/courting and preparing for marriage – Part 4

One should never put a stop to God’s calling on their life just for the sake of a relationship/marriage potential.

For more counsel on courtship and marriage, please read “16 Questions Every Girl Should Ask Herself Before Marriage

Dating/Courtship – Preparing for Marriage Part 3

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XTMBR78lFc]

Counsel for a Christian man or woman who is dating/courting and preparing for marriage – Part 3

So many young people, even Christian young persons, pursue relationships without any counsel or guidance from any experienced godly person.  That is not what God desires for His children.  He wants the best for us and desires that our marriage relationships will glorify Him and will reveal what He has designed for His people since the Garden of Eden.  Are our behavior and relationship choices honoring and glorifying God at all times?

When pursuing a romantic relationship with the hopes of leading to marriage, one should always lay out the intentions clearly from the beginning.  Many issues and broken hearts could be avoided if this counsel is heeded.

For more counsel on courtship and marriage, please read “16 Questions Every Girl Should Ask Herself Before Marriage

Dating/Courtship – Preparing for Marriage Part 2

Counsel for a Christian man or woman who is dating/courting and preparing for marriage – Part 2

So many young people, even Christian young persons, pursue relationships without any counsel or guidance from any experienced godly person.  That is not what God desires for His children.  He wants the best for us and desires that our marriage relationships will glorify Him and will reveal what He has designed for His people since the Garden of Eden.  Are our behavior and relationship choices honoring and glorifying God at all times?

For more counsel on courtship and marriage, please read “16 Questions Every Girl Should Ask Herself Before Marriage

16 Questions Every Girl Should Ask Herself Before Marriage

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” – Maya Angelou

Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy of her.

About the future spouse:

1.  What has been his past record? 

2.  Is his life pure? 

3.  Is the love which he expresses toward me of a noble, elevated character (i.e. He loves me and wants the best God has to offer me), or is it a mere emotional fondness (i.e. I like you and we can hang out)

4.  Has he the traits of character that will make me happy? 

5.  Can I find true peace and joy in his affection? (When I am with him am I at rest?  Or am I always questioning his incoming calls and text messages)

6.  Will I be allowed to preserve my individuality, or must my judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of him as my husband?  While wives must submit (biblically, which we will discuss in another post), it doesn’t mean they can’t have their own mind and opinion.

Ladies remember, as a disciple of Christ, you are precious and have been bought with the price of Jesus precious blood.  God does not want you to settle with whom is not deserving of His precious gift.


About your personal relationship with God:

These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation. 

7.  Can I honor the Saviour’s claims as supreme?  (Will I be allowed to serve God first and whole-heartedly, living up to all my convictions?  Or will my future spouse require me to put my convictions aside for his desire?)

8.  Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy?

9.  Will this union help me heavenward? 

10.  Will it increase my love for God? 

11.  Will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? 


***If these first 11 reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God and earnest prayer continue to move forward.***


About the future spouse’s current family dynamic:


True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire/observe before she yields her affections.

12.  Has my future suitor a mother? What is the stamp of her character? (Does she appear that she would honor our marriage vows and encourage a healthy marriage and “leave & cleave” relationship with her?)

13.  Does he recognize his obligations to her, as an unwed son? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness? 

14.  If he does not respect and honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife? 


After critically reflecting over all these key points, what do I see becoming of our future relationship:

15.  When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? (Do I see our relationship standing the test of time and all the trials life brings?)

16.  Will my future spouse be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial?  (Even in dating/courting one can exhibit these characteristics, how does he currently handle these situations?)

True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them. – {LYL 24.1}

Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring and honest, one who loves and fears God. – {LYL 24.2}

Compilation of questions adapted from a book entitled “Letters to Young Lovers”


Comment below, let us know what you think?  Are there any other vital questions that should be added?


God Bless,

The Family Blueprint

A Marriage Made in Heaven: Leave and Cleave Part 2

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.  Be not wise in thine own eyes…” Proverbs 3:5-7

It is important to always seek the LORD in everything, and in all things that we do.  Even in the smallest matters we should seek the LORD’s counsel.  So how more should we seek Him in matters that are extremely significant, such as marriage.

To truly understand the divine principles that God would have us to recognize and obey to have a happy and successful marriage, we will need access to divine power.

“The cause of division and discord in families…is separation from Christ.  To come near to Christ is to come near to one another.  The secret of true unity…in the family is not diplomacy, not management, not a superhuman effort to overcome difficulties-though there will be much of this to do-but union with Christ.  Picture a large circle, from the edge of which are many lines all running to the center.  The nearer these lines approach the center, the nearer they are to one another.  Thus it is in the Christian life.  The closer we come to Christ, the nearer we shall be to one another.” – {AH 179.3}

The marriage relationship then can be viewed as a circle, a sacred circle, with Christ in the middle.  As the husband and wife both seek, God through His word and prayer, they will spiritually and wholly come together in Christ.  “No other one has any right in [the sacred circle]. The husband and wife should be all to each other.  The wife should have no secrets to keep from her husband and let others know”- {AH 177.1} and vice versa. Therefore no person, whether they are parents, siblings, friend, pastor, no one should have prominence over the spouse.

My mind is taken to another married couple we know.  The couple had purchased a house, however the deeds of the house were place in the name of the wife and her father (since the father assisted in acquiring the house), and the wife and the father did all the planning without the husband.  Needless to say this caused many problems within their marriage, and unfortunately their marriage is full of discord and unhappiness.

To leave and cleave, as Genesis 2:24 states, is to do just that.  To leave father and mother, and cleave unto your spouse.  There are many cases where because of the close bond that one spouse may have with extended family and/or friends, and wishes to bring into the marriage relationship, brings added strain into the marriage covenant.

It is very possible that little disagreements, or troubles that arise can grow exponentially as friends and families choose the side of their love one.  Jealousy can also arise as the other spouse may feel left out of the intimacy that is growing between members who should be outside of the circle.  In His infinite wisdom, God put in place divine principles that would keep the marriage covenant secure from these seemingly safe yet unwise choices.

“It is not the best policy for…families that are connected by marriage to settle within a few miles of one another. The perplexities and troubles which every family must experience more or less, and which, as far as possible, should be confined within the limits of the family circle are extended to family connections…But the close relationship…brought into constant intercourse, has a tendency to break down the dignity which should be maintained in every family.” – {CG 289.2}

Jesus said. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.”  Mark 10:7,8

He meant for this Divine Principle to be established forever. But as stated in part 1 of this blog post, there are divine principles that have to be recognized and obeyed (Proverbs 3:5-7).  Our hope is that you will follow us on the next part, entitled “The two shall be one flesh”.

If you need more assistance in this area pray to God and ask Him for wisdom (James 1:5), He will give it to you; also feel free to contact us at: thefamilyblueprint777@gmail.com

God Bless,

Family Blueprint

 

A Marriage Made in Heaven: Leave and Cleave Part 1

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

There seems to be a growing skepticism about marriage these days.  As the world progresses in time, the general consensus of marriage being a sacred institution seems to be digressing proportionately with our journey through time.  However…

“Marriage is honourable”; it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise.  When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature. – {Patriarchs and Prophets, page 46}

What is intriguing about this quote is that the author states that “when the divine principles are recognized and obeyed…marriage is a blessing“.  Could it be that one of the reasons, or even the reason for many marital problems in our society, and even the church, is simply because the human race is not following the divine principles?

Naturally the question we should all ask is, “what are the divine principles“? Of course there isn’t only one, since they are called principles, but by God’s grace we will write a few blogs that will look at what we believe the bible states these principles to be.

In Genesis 2:24, the bible says that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.  Many people have physically left their parents household, and have physically cleaved unto their spouse.  But emotionally, mentally, in matters of trust and secrecy, loyalty, and many other ways, they are still connected to their parents and extended family, and have yet to join, in all intents and purposes, with their spouses.

If you are married and your reading this, think very deeply on this issue.  Have you really left your parents household, and have you fully joined with your husband/wife?

One of the definitions for the word leave, in the Hebrew concordance, is to relinquish (give up or abandon).  Now is this to say that we forsake our parents and other family members?  Not at all, but the LORD is showing the extraordinary connection that is supposed to happen in marriage that should now supersede any previous connections with parents, siblings, other family members, and also friends (and we will have blogs for the latter group as well).  So are we really following the divine principles?

The word cleave carries the description of fastening something together.  Similar to supergluing two objects together.  What is interesting is that once you superglue two objects together the only way to separate them is to cause damage to both of them.  The purpose of cleaving is to be forever!

If we would “leave father, mother, sisters and brothers and friends and cleave to [our spouses], and love [them] better than anyone on earth…[we would] live in harmony and happiness”. – {Manuscript Release, Volume 10 page 20}

Part of the reason for discord and unhappiness in marital relations today is the disregard of the most evident divine principle God has given us.  Many marriage relations are constantly bombarded by the opinions and expectations of in-laws and best friends, and from either husband/wife trying to cleave to both their spouse and family/friends.

If everyone (family, friends, and spouses) would recognize and obey the divine principle of leave and cleave many marriages would still be intact. My marriage counsellor often told us, that the two of us are like a pair of scissors, and that anything or person that comes between, we must cut them out.

Some readers may find this blog strong and to the point, but with the nearness of the coming of Jesus Christ, and the ferocity of Satan to destroy families, we must admit that revival and reformation begin in the home.  And the household will be what the husband and wife make them.

If you need more assistance in this area pray to God and ask Him for wisdom (James 1:5, 6), He will give it to you. Don’t forget to follow us when we do part 2 of this blog, also feel free to contact us at: thefamilyblueprint777@gmail.com

“What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” Mark 10:9

God Bless,

Family Blueprint